Review of THE LONE RANGER

THE LONE RANGER

Action, western, Johnny Depp 2013

Up, up in the sky.  It's a man, it's a bird, no it's ...

Oops.  Sorry. Wrong clichéd hero.

Come with us now to those thrilling days of yesteryear...

Ah, that's the one.

The movie starts at a 1933 San Francisco fair with a scenic, obviously painted backdrop of the Golden Gate bridge in construction. In one of the fair's exhibits, WILL, a ten-year-old who dresses like THE LONE RANGER, is staring at a diorama of an elderly Native American in front of a teepee. To Will's astonishment, the Native American turns to will and asks him if he brought the horses. The man soon identifies himself as TONTO (Johnny Depp), the Lone Ranger's sidekick.

Flashback to 1869, cue the William Tell overture (with some modifications), adrenalin surges and we see Tonto and the mysterious masked man jump on their horses. The Lone Ranger feels silly wearing a mask, but Tonto assures him it's necessary. They and ride into town…and rob a bank, for crying out loud.

Back to 1933 and a disillusioned Will who can't believe his idol was a thief. "There are times when good men must wear mask," Tonto says. We return to 1869 some weeks before the bank robbery, and meet JOHN REID, a highly scrupulous lawyer (?) and prosecutor who says the legal codes are his Bible.  John is traveling West on a train with a prison car carrying the chained, infamous and psychopathic Butch Cavendish to stand trial and be executed (forgone conclusion). In the same car is Tonto, also in chains (though why is never explained.)  Butch's gang rescues Butch, Tonto also frees himself, and John somehow gets involved in the whole mess. After a harrowing escape, John and Tonto find themselves on the ground next to the train tracks, whereupon John arrests Tonto. After all, he was in a prison car.  He must be guilty of something.

And thus begins the partnership of the Lone Ranger and Tonto.

This movie did poorly at the box office, which is a shame because it's a lot of fun, mainly due to Depp's portrayal of Tonto. The Yoda-like bits of wisdom and the smart-ass comments add good contrast to the 1956 Lone Ranger movie with Clayton Moore and Jay Silverheels. In one scene, they're buried up to their necks, and Tonto says, "Could be worse."

"How could it be worse?" the Lone Ranger asks excitedly.

"You could develop an itch on your nose and not be able to scratch."

Whereupon the ranger does indeed get an itchy nose.

The modern movie has explicit poop, prostitutes, and psychopaths, and Cavendish's insane violence and even cannibalism goes over the top. Still, these extremes make a more interesting film than the fairly sanitized 1956 flick.  Some of the action scenes go a little two long, but they hold your interest. And when the William Tell overture starts playing, particularly in the last scenes, it really gets your heart racing.

All in all, I give this +++++. It will get your pulse up to a sprint.