Review of 300

300

Historical fiction, drama, action. 2006.

In ancient SPARTA, a form of institutionalized child abuse, the agoge, was the preferred method to develop fierce warriors. LEONIDAS, after surviving unrealistically demonic wolves and other hardships, returns to Sparta and later becomes king. The Persians, under the leadership of the self-styled divine monarch XERXES, demand Sparta's submission, but Leonidas determines to fight Xerxes' massive army no matter what the cost to him or Sparta.  Even the gloomy predictions of the oracle, a beautiful teenager repeatedly raped by ugly lechers, and the refusal of the city council to supply him with an army doesn't deter him. He gathers three hundred of his most loyal warriors. With support of a few hundred untrained soldiers from other cities, he marches to Thermopylae where a narrow passageway should render Xerxes massive force ineffective and enable Leonidas' defenders to hold off the Persians indefinitely. Yes, the geography is good for the Spartans, but is it enough to hold off the huge army of Xerxes? Especially when there is a traitor out there?

The Spartans have naked chests and abdomens, and wear only a cape, helmet, boots, and black leather panties with lots of junk. They look like they're in a gay porn film.

Considering that the movie idea originated as a 'graphic novel' (a nice euphemism for comic book), it gets more historical details correct than I expected.  The agoge in Sparta was real, but it was more like a modern military academy than the near death sentence described in the film. There was an influential oracle at Delphi, but she was usually a middle age woman who was a respected member of society. EPHIALTES did betray Leonidas, but he was probably not a hunchback. And on and on.  Granted, the film is not intended to be educational, but why not get as much right as possible? A brutal military school, for example, can create as much tension as demonic wolves.

The movie is full of swordplay, blood and drama (or melodrama). If you like these things, the movie should get your pulse at least up to a run. I'll give it ++++.