Review of STARDUST

STARDUST

2007 Fantasy, comedy, adventure

The town of WALL is in most respects an ordinary English village of the 1800s, but it has one distinction--a stone wall that separates it from the magical kingdom of STORMHOLD. This barrier has a gap that is guarded night and day. DUNSTAN THORN, an adventurous youth, insists there is nothing more than a field on the other side, tricks the guard, and sneaks through the gap into Stormhold. There he indeed finds many wonderful and magical sights. The most enchanting is a beautiful woman named UNA, who is actually a princess kept enslaved by a mean witch, DITCHWATER SAL. Una sells Dunstan a glass snowdrop in return for a kiss. Then she takes him inside the witch's wagon to collect further payment. Dunstan returns home and nine months later finds on his doorstep a basket with a baby boy, TRISTAN.

Fast forward eighteen years. The nameless king of Stormhold is on his death bed, and his living sons gather around him. This is a bit awkward, since the king himself had killed all his own brothers to secure the throne for himself. His sons murdered some of their siblings, but have been so inefficient, four have survived. How is the king to choose between them?  He takes the royal ruby from around his neck, and throws it up into the sky. The child who retrieves it will be king. The surviving brothers (now three) set out on the quest.

Unfortunately, the ruby hits a star who is then knocked down to Earth where she is seen to be a beautiful woman named YVAINE.

Tristan, a lowly shop boy in Wall, is hopelessly in love with a beautiful twit, VICTORIA. As the two watch the star fall, she promises to marry him if he gets the celestial object for her. So, like his father, Tristan tricks the guard at the wall and enters Stormhold to search for Yvenne to show to Victoria.

In addition, three old and ugly witches see the star fall. They also want her, though their intent is not benign. They want to cut out her heart and eat it so as to have youth and beauty.

Who will get the girl-ruby (the connection between them isn't clear)? The wicked witches? The murderous princes? Or sweet, naive Tristan? The race is on, and a glorious romp it is, with magical inns, unicorns, and a flying ship captained by a transvestite pirate named SHAKESPEARE (he shakes a spear).

It's easy to guess who will win the race, but how will they do it? The screenwriter uses all sorts of funny twists to keep you guessing. As an exercise movie, this will get your pulse to a jog, so I give it +++. In terms of plain enjoyment, it will make you laugh and is a lot of fun.