Sunday, January 19, 2014

Review of PARKER




When we first meet PARKER (Jason Statham), he's at a state fair and is wearing a clerical collar. It's obvious from the start that he's no priest, but he's still a nice man and even throws darts at balloons to win a prize for a little girl. Two unfunny clowns appear, clearly up to no good, and, in fact, Parker and the clowns are soon robbing the fair's gate money. A clerk becomes hysterical, but Parker is such a nice man, he takes the time to sooth him and get him over his panic. Final result is $200,000 for each of five thieves.

Unfortunately, a fire intended as a distraction to the robbery was set in the wrong place leading to the death of a fairgoer.  This is unprofessional.  Parker doesn't like unprofessional behavior. Also, because he's a nice man, he doesn't like the death of innocent civilians. So when the other four thieves suggest he join them for another heist, one that will net millions of dollars, he refuses to join them. For some reason, Parker's refusal infuriates the others who then take his money, shoot him, and leave him for dead.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again, if you want to kill someone, don't just shoot them and leave them for dead. You should go up to the body and put a bullet right between the ideas at point blank range. But then there wouldn't be any movie.

Parker does not die.  He's found by a hick farmer's family and rescued.  And it turns out there is a limit to his niceness. When people take his ill-gotten-gains and try to kill him, Parker is not nice at all.

This is a fun movie in many respects. Parker is super-competent and his betrayers appropriately terrified when they learn he's alive and is tracking them. There are cute sexual overtones; Parker enlists a real estate agent, LESLIE (Jennifer Lopez), to show him the city, but when they're alone he tells her to take off her clothes. Turns out he just wants to check if she has a wire to spy on him.  She's disappointed, and so was I.

The film has no deep character portrayals, no insightful meanings, not even extraordinary eye candy.  But it does have lots of action, self-righteous indignation, and vengeance. As a workout movie, it's great. I give it +++++.  It will get your pulse up to a sprint.

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