Review of RAFIO FREE ALBEMUTH

RADIO FREE ALBEMUTH - 2010

NICK BRADY works in his father's record shop in the 1980s and is frustrated because dad insists CDs will never replace vinyl. He also has strange visions which upset his wife RACHAEL so much, she thinks about leaving him, though she drops that idea when she gets pregnant. Nick calls the source of the visions VALIS, Vast Alien Living Intelligence System, but he worries the visions may be a symptom of mental illness. One vision tells him that his infant son has a strangulated inguinal hernia, and when Nick rushes the baby to an emergency room, it turns out the vision was right, and Nick is reassured about his sanity. Then the visions tell him to move to LA; he obeys, gets a job with a recording company, and prospers.

It's a difficult time for America. The president, FERRIS F FREMONT (FFF--666), is running for a fifth term, and uses the threat of a terrorist organization, ARAMCHEK, to justify increasingly restrictive measures. One of his big-brother organizations, FRIENDS OF THE AMERICAN PEOPLE (FAP - look it up in the Urban Dictionary) wants Nick to help them with their propaganda. He refuses. FAP goes to SF author and Nick's best friend, PHILIP K. DICK, (hey - he wrote the book, so why shouldn't he put himself in his own story?) and ask him to spy on Nick. Nick also refuses. FAP and Fremont do not like to be refused…

In the film, PKD describes his novels as sounding like they were written on LSD. I'd say like they were written by a schizophrenic. Either way, he is an excellent storyteller, and this movie is pretty faithful to his novel of the same name.

In some ways, PKD is prescient. Decades before the Patriot Act (but decades after Orwell's 1984) which Bush introduced and Obama continued, Dick describes similar measures implemented by President Fremont. Dystopian stories are common; this one is better than most, and the quasi-supernatural flavor added by Valis adds to it.

There is a fair amount of religious symbolism towards the end, and this slows the pace, but it doesn't take up a lot of time. Though it's gotten bad reviews, I consider it an engaging and interesting flic. And as a workout movie, it will get your pulse up to a run. I rate it as ++++.

Review of INTO THE WOODS

INTO THE WOODS

This movie blends four classical fairy tales into a musical mélange that is a treat to watch. A reasonably accurate version of Cinderella, Jack and the Beanstalk, Rapunzel, and Little Red Riding Hood, is all joined together by a new tale of the barren baker and his wife. This couple is childless because an ugly old witch (Meryl Streep), furious that the baker's father stole greens from her garden, cursed the house with infertility. However, she's willing to remove the curse if the two bring her "the cow as white as milk, the cape as red as blood, the hair as yellow as corn, and the slipper as pure as gold."

Red Riding Hood has the cape, and Rapunzel has the hair. In this version, Jack's cow is milky white and Cinderella's slipper is of gold. Though the path is strewn with obstacles, the baker and his wife finally get all four of the required objects (Rapunzel's hair doesn't work, but they find a substitute) and feed them to the cow who promptly gives milk that makes the witch young and beautiful.

The witch keeps her promise, and the baker's wife promptly becomes nine months pregnant. Cinderella and Rapunzel get their princes, Jack is rich from the gold he stole from the giant, and the-girl-who-is-called-by-her-clothing gets a nice, new wolf-skin coat. (What will they call her now?) So everyone lives happily ever after. Right?

Wrong. The second half takes a distinctly darker tone, and that's the whole point of the movie. Even when the situation seems ideal, life brings surprises.

The movie is taken from the play of the same name by Stephen Sondheim, and follows the same general plot line. The play was written in 1987 at the height of the AIDs epidemic, and may be a metaphor for that tragedy. The movie, a 2014 Disney production when AIDs is more controllable, is much less edgy. (The wolf in the play, for example, is half naked with an erect penis. Not so Johnny Depp.)

All in all, it's the movie is wonderful entertainment. The music, the plot, and the acting are outstanding. As a workout movie, it should get your pulse up to a run. I give it ++++

By the way, DVD's for both the movie and the original play are available.

Review of AGENTS OF S.H.I.E.L.D.

AGENTS OF S.H.I.E.L.D. - episodes 1-5

2013

PHIL COULSON runs a S.H.I.E.L.D. unit--(Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement and Logistics Division)--in the MARVEL universe. Phil is a strange guy. He has a red 1962 Corvette that can fly, a good sense of humor, and he wears a suit and tie everywhere, even into active combat. Though the Marvel Universe has all sorts of supernatural creatures (like Thor), there's nothing supernatural about Phil, except maybe that he's died and been resurrected under strange circumstances that even he is not aware of.

Other agents in the group include MELINDA MAY, who pilots the 'bus,' a Boeing C-17 used by the agents to resolve crises all over the world. She's a kick-ass woman who can demolish five musclemen without breaking a sweat, At the limits of credulity, yes, but not impossible. Then there is FITZ-SIMMONS--actually two people. Fitz is an adorable male computer nerd, and Simmons is an adorable female computer nerd. Or is it the opposite? Doesn't matter because you never see one without the other, though the relationship apparently is not romantic. And GRANT WARD, is the stony faced mercenary whose main complaint is having to work with the others instead of saving the world by himself.

In the pilot episode (which starts just after IRON MAN 3), the agents investigate reports of a man, MIKE PETERSON, with superhuman powers. Peterson has been injected with EXTREMIS, a serum that makes him inhumanly strong, but also a little nuts and, if he isn't treated, will make his head explode. Literally, not figurative. SKYE, a hactivist with the group RISING TIDE goes to Peterson and offers to protect him from Shield. Rising Tide' mission is to expose all secrets to the public. The Agents of Shield are good guys, but they do have secrets that they don't want revealed. Can the agents catch Peterson before he and everyone around him blows up? And what should the agents do about Skye? With her computer talents, she could be a tremendous asset to the team if she's willing to join, but can she be trusted?

The characters don't take themselves too seriously. Coulson, for example, admits his red Corvette indicates a midlife crises. In general, there's a lot of humor and irony in the series, and the mixture with the action and violent scenes works well. The series has no deep messages or social commentary, but it's fun and it can get your pulse up to a run. I give it ++++.

Review of HAVEN

HAVEN - episodes 1-4

2010, supernatural, paranormal, mystery, Steven King,

AUDREY PARKER is an respected, workaholic FBI agent. When a killer, JONAS LESTER escapes from prison and goes to his home town of HAVEN, Audrey's boss sends her there to apprehend him. But Jonas turns up dead, thrown off of a cliff by some powerful, mysterious force. Audrey forms a somewhat uneasy alliance, with NATHAN WOURNOS a local cop who suffers from an inability to feel pain (and is thus subject to multiple injuries, though Nathan himself seems healthy.) The two investigate Jonas' death. Various suspects are checked and exonerated. One in particular, DUKE CROCKER, is a quirky character for whom Nathan has an intense, unexplained dislike, but at one point he saves Audrey's life, so he can't be the bad guy.

Throughout the episode, strange happenings are noted. Audrey is almost killed by a sudden earthquake and is struck by lightning during an unexpected hailstorm. One of the suspects in Jonas' death disappears in a mysterious fog. Audrey, an orphan, finds an old newspaper with a picture of the COLORADO KID, a woman who looks suspiciously like Audrey and who might be her mother. Mention is made of an era in the town's history called THE TROUBLES, which the suggestion that these troubles might have returned.

Hey - something paranormal has to be going on.  Right?

In each of the first four chapters, Audrey and Nathan investigate and resolve a violent supernatural incident provoked by someone who didn't know (at least at first) that they were responsible, and Duke is usually involved in the investigation.  Small clues are dropped as to Audrey's unknown past, the nature of the 'troubles' plaguing the town, and the antagonism between Duke and Nathan, but these take up only a few minutes.

In short, the episodes are predictable.

Nathan's inability to feel pain is an interesting characteristic, but the writers haven't done anything with it, so I wonder why they throw it in. Likewise Audrey's workaholism.

 

The series was inspired by a story, The Colorado Kid, by Steven King. The first installment is the best because you don't know what's going on. Afterwards, it's too much repetition of the same basic theme to keep your interest. I rate it +++.  It will get your pulse up to a jog.

Review of HOUSE OF CARDS

HOUSE OF CARDS

Political intrigue, ruthlessness.  Released 2009.

FRANK UNDERWOOD (Kevin Spacy) is the majority whip in the House of Representatives. We first meet him when he is looking at an injured dog. He turns to the viewer, laments “useless suffering,” and strangles the dog with his bare hands. Then he lies to the dog’s owner about how the pet died. Thus we see what kind of person he is.

This scene is repeated later, though under much more dramatic circumstances.

Frank had secured the presidential election of GARRETT WALKER in return for the office of Secretary of State, but Walker betrayed Frank and nominated someone else. Is Frank angry?  Does a bear—well, you know. Frank is determined to get revenge and the power of a high office  no matter what the cost...to others.

Frank is a friendly Southerner whose relaxed smile and drawl somehow reminds me of Jack Benny. He has accomplices and coconspirators in his intrigues.  First is his wife of many years, CLAIRE. They have an open marriage with no secrecy about affairs and had decided long ago not to have children, a decision Claire is now revisiting. In addition to helping Frank, Claire is a power broker in her own right and heads a charity that may actually do some good by bringing clean water to Africa. Another important ally is DOUG STAMPER, Frank’s chief of staff and a loyal employee.  He carries out a variety of legitimate, illegitimate and borderline activities for his boss.

Together, these three manipulate Washington, not only to push Frank's legislation, but also to arrange cabinet appointments, gubernatorial candidates and even resignations of high officials. They also ruin countless lives by getting people fired or having their workplaces closed, and in one case, cause someone's death.

Unfortunately, the series is available only on Netflix.

Frank and Clair Underwood are realistic and intriguing. The ruthlessness and single-minded pursuit of their goals is fascinating, and when they have different goals, it gets even better. Yet they manage to be sympathetic. They are never cruel to specific individuals, and at times will even help people in distress, especially if they can get some advantage from helping others. Having finished the first season, I'm looking forward to the second. I give this series

Review of Boondock Saints

BOONDOCK SAINTS

 CONNER and MURPHY MACMANUS, religious Irish American brothers in Boston, listen to their priest preach against the indifference shown to Kitty Genovese's murder, and take the sermon to heart. Later, while they're celebrating St. Paddy's day in an Irish pub, Russian mobsters barge in, announce that their bosses have bought the pub and that everyone must leave at once. A fight breaks out, with the gangsters getting the worst of it. The next day, the thugs try to get revenge, but brothers Connor and Murphy end up killing them, albeit in self-defense.

Since mobsters are involved, an FBI agent, PAUL SMECKER, is assigned to the case. He puts on earbuds and wanders around the crime scene while waving his hands in time to operatic music. Then, like Sherlock Holmes (or Adrian Monk), he assembles clues no one else notices and recreates the case.

The brothers turn themselves in and confess the killings, but Smecker tells them they acted in self-defense and have not committed any crime. Everyone in their community regards them as heroes, and they conclude they have a mission from God to rid Boston of evil men. And there are plenty of evil men for them to remove. A wave of murders sweeps Boston, but since all the victims are criminals, the public doesn't know whether to grieve or cheer. Smecker identifies the brothers as the perpetuators of the killings, but he also can't decide whether to arrest them or not...

The movie asks a basic question: when is violence justified? Like Dexter, the MacManus brothers (along with their Italian friend, ROCCO) kill mass murderers, and in the process become mass murderers themselves. The question is easier to ask than answer.

One aspect of the movie was unnecessary. Smecker waving his hands in time to the music in a vaguely effeminate way shows him as a brilliant and eccentric cop, an interesting picture. But when he appears in bed with a guy, we see the hand-waving is just another gay stereotype.

This movie will get your heart beating and make the minutes fly while you're working out.  I give it +++++.  It will get your pulse up to a sprint.

Review of CASABLANCA

CASABLANCA

Drama, romance, WWII, Humphrey Bogart, Ingrid Bergman, Nazis, French resistance. 1942

"Here's looking at you, Kid."

The movie Casablanca is widely considered one of the finest movies ever made, but...a workout movie?

Yes. Absolutely.

For those unfortunates (mainly in recent generations) who have never seen it, here's a synopsis: World War II is raging. RICK BLAINE (Humphrey Bogart) runs a saloon and illegal casino in Casablanca, a city in unoccupied French territory. ("Of all the gin joints, in all the towns, in all the world, she walks into mine.") People come from Nazi occupied Europe to Casablanca hoping for visas to get them to America. Unfortunately, on the black market, visas can be gotten only for large sums of money, or, as one unhappy young lady discovers, other asses--I mean assets.

                                                                                            

VICTOR LAZLO, a leader of the resistance, is one of those looking for visas for himself and his wife. Rick happens to have two visas, but Victor's wife, ILSA (Ingrid Bergman), had once been Rick's lover and had abandoned Rick suddenly and without explanation. He's still angry and refuses to help Victor and Ilsa leave Casablanca. When Victor goes to a meeting of the underground that night, Ilsa sneaks over to Rick's hotel room and pleads for the visas, but Rick remains adamant.  Then Ilsa pulls out a gun and demands the visas. "Go ahead and shoot. You'll be doing me a favor," Rick says. From there, the plot has some interesting twists...

"...you're in love with a woman. It is perhaps a strange circumstance that we both should be in love with the same woman. The first evening I came to this café, I knew there was something between you and Ilsa. Since no one is to blame, I - I demand no explanation." (Laslo to Rick) Rick is the protagonist, and is well played by Bogart in what is probably his best role, but the real hero of the story is Victor Lazlo. Brave, dedicated, charismatic, and understanding to the fault of being unrealistic, the man is a saint. The movie might be a little better if he showed some imperfection, but it's a minor point. Ingrid Bergman as Ilsa is just wonderful. I'm in love with her.  Talk about bedroom eyes, she has bridal suite eyes. My marriage could be in trouble, but fortunately, she's dead.

There is some mindless, institutional racism, but not vicious. The lack of any mention of the Holocaust or the psychotic anti-Semitism of the Nazis is more problematic, at least for me. Granted, the full horror wasn't known when the film was made (1942), but there was some information.'

This is a wonderful movie and a wonderful workout movie. If you've never seen it, you're in for a treat.  And even if you have seen it, it will frequently get your pulse up to a sprint. I give it +++++.

Review of EUROPA REPORT

EUROPA REPORT

'Found footage' science fiction drama, released 2013

Humanity is going to one of Jupiter's moons, EUROPA. Recent findings of heat signatures there have made this trip so urgent, a private company, Europa Ventures, is spending billions to send an international crew of six (instead of just a robotic probe) to search for signs of life. DR SAMANTHA UNGER, the CEO of the company, shows the enthusiastic beginning of the voyage, and she and the crew members describe the early part of the trip. Unfortunately (of course, unfortunately--it wouldn't be much of a story otherwise) communication between Earth and the spaceship is lost. Most of the film from then on is from the video diary of the pilot, ROSA DASQUE.

It soon becomes apparent that one of the crew has died, but just how is not shown until much later. The chief engineer, ANDREI BLOK, develops psychological problems. These events destroy the thrill of the journey for the rest. When they finally reach Europa, they land too far from their target in CONAMARA CHAOS (a real area on Europa), so KATYA PETROVNA, the science officer volunteers to take a surface walk, and does indeed find a one-celled living creature. Then the ice cracks and she dies. The survivors now have to decide to keep searching for more evidence of life or to return to Earth with what information they have…

Neil deGrasse Tyson puts in a cameo as himself, which is always welcome.

EUROPA REPORT has been described as a slow burning thriller. That's accurate. You don't even realize there's some kind of mystery for the first half hour.  The movies is also said to 'put the science back into science fiction,' but that's a laugh. People talk between the spaceship and Earth instantaneously with no light-speed transmission time delay, and one of the astronauts says the surface of Europa is at absolute zero temperature. Plus, the excuse, heat signatures, for sending people before sending robots is silly.

The film reminds one of 2001, but isn't nearly as well done. For one, the director jumps back and forth between one time period and another. Whatever his intention, the result is a confusing muddle that's hard to follow.

Yet even with all the negative comments, the movie held my interest, and I watched to the end. As a workout movie, I rate it at +++ - it will get your pulse up to a jog.

Review of PARKER

PARKER

When we first meet PARKER (Jason Statham), he's at a state fair and is wearing a clerical collar. It's obvious from the start that he's no priest, but he's still a nice man and even throws darts at balloons to win a prize for a little girl. Two unfunny clowns appear, clearly up to no good, and, in fact, Parker and the clowns are soon robbing the fair's gate money. A clerk becomes hysterical, but Parker is such a nice man, he takes the time to sooth him and get him over his panic. Final result is $200,000 for each of five thieves.

Unfortunately, a fire intended as a distraction to the robbery was set in the wrong place leading to the death of a fairgoer.  This is unprofessional.  Parker doesn't like unprofessional behavior. Also, because he's a nice man, he doesn't like the death of innocent civilians. So when the other four thieves suggest he join them for another heist, one that will net millions of dollars, he refuses to join them. For some reason, Parker's refusal infuriates the others who then take his money, shoot him, and leave him for dead.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again, if you want to kill someone, don't just shoot them and leave them for dead. You should go up to the body and put a bullet right between the ideas at point blank range. But then there wouldn't be any movie.

Parker does not die.  He's found by a hick farmer's family and rescued.  And it turns out there is a limit to his niceness. When people take his ill-gotten-gains and try to kill him, Parker is not nice at all.

This is a fun movie in many respects. Parker is super-competent and his betrayers appropriately terrified when they learn he's alive and is tracking them. There are cute sexual overtones; Parker enlists a real estate agent, LESLIE (Jennifer Lopez), to show him the city, but when they're alone he tells her to take off her clothes. Turns out he just wants to check if she has a wire to spy on him.  She's disappointed, and so was I.

The film has no deep character portrayals, no insightful meanings, not even extraordinary eye candy.  But it does have lots of action, self-righteous indignation, and vengeance. As a workout movie, it's great. I give it +++++.  It will get your pulse up to a sprint.

Review of OLYMPUS HAS FALLEN

OLYMPUS HAS FALLEN

The film begins with the President of the United States, BENJAMIN ASHER (Aaron Eckhart) in the ring with his sparring partner, a secret service agent named MIKE BANNING. These two have such a good relationship that Mike can and does beat the crap out of the president.  Switch to preparations for a fund raiser where we meet Asher's unrealistically lovely and loving wife, MARGARET.  On the way to the party, tragedy strikes, an accident on an icy bridge. Mike gets the president out of the car before it topples off the bridge, and is almost, but not quite, able to rescue Margaret before she plunges to her frozen doom below. This puts a strain on his friendship with the president.

Fast forward eighteen months.  Asher, still president, confers with the South Korean prime-minister LEE TAE-WOO about the best response to North Korea. Switch to a four engine prop plane with Korean pilots entering restricted air space over Washington DC. American fighter jets threaten to shoot it down, but it destroys those jets with machine guns. Koreans converge on the White House planting bombs, shooting bystanders and in general creating chaos.  The president and prime minister retreat to the fortified bunker, but Korean and American traitors kill the prime minister and take the president hostage. Under the leadership of terrorist KANG YEONSAK, they issue demands such as withdrawing all American forces from the Korean peninsula, and prove their seriousness by shooting various officials trapped in the bunker with the president.

With the president hostage and the vice-president unavailable, the secretary of state, ALLAN TRUMBULL (Morgan Freeman), must assume the awesome responsibilities of the presidency in this time of crisis. Fortunately, secret-service agent Mike is able to sneak into the White House. This is his chance to redeem himself...

I'm not an expert, I suspect fighter jets have too much shielding to be shot down by machine gun bullets.  And a prop plane? Come on.  What kind of bargain-basement terrorists are these?  In the beginning, terrorists kill a lot of people, but when Mike swings into action, they seem to develop the "Where Eagles Dare" syndrome and lose their ability to aim. The scene where Trumbull realizes this mess is on his shoulders is pivotal, but Freeman, usually a superb actor, is here as convincing as a college drama student.

In general, the characters are flat.  Terrorist Kang is a focused sociopath, President Asher is perpetually frustrated and weak, Trumbull is befuddled, and Mike is murderously determined.  But you can't blame the actors. The plot is monochromatic, a continual struggle against horror with minimal breaks. The actors don't have a chance to portray three-dimensional human beings.

Why do Eckart and Freeman take such crappy roles? For that matter, why did so many Koreans participate in a movie that portrays Korean people the way so many movies portray Arabs or Muslims.

As a cinematic production, this movie stinks.  But as a workout movie, it's great. It hooks you in from the beginning and, as one thing after another goes wrong, keeps you hooked. The unvarying plot won't let you look away.  I give this +++++ - it will get your pulse up to a sprint.

Review of THE CODE (Thick as Thieves).

THE CODE (THICK AS THIEVES)

The movie opens with KEITH RIPLEY (Morgan Freeman) walking into a health spa and shooting a man in the pool. No explanation. Then GABRIEL (Gaby) MARTIN (Anthony Banderas) robs diamonds from two curriers on a subway train. Ripley is in the train and watches with a bemused smile. After the robbery, Ripley follows Martin and tries to entice him to help Ripley steal two Faberge eggs worth twenty million dollars each from ROMANOV JEWELERS.  Gaby is reluctant. At this point, Gaby meets Ripley's goddaughter, ALEXANDRA KAROLIN.  The two flirt for a while, and soon fall into bed. Enter LIEUTENANT WEBER, who has been obsessed with putting Ripley in jail for the past twenty years. Weber knows Ripley plans to rob Romanov's, and determines to trap him, even though the FBI tells him to lay off because they want to catch a Russian criminal, who, by the way, Ripley owes a lot of money to which is why he's eager to steal the eggs.

And then the plot gets complicated. 

The first two thirds are easy to follow, but towards the end the story becomes so convoluted I never did understand just how the characters arrived at the finale. SPOILER ALERT--almost everyone is happy with how it turns out.

The way Gaby woos Alexandra is obnoxious. He stalks her, breaks into her apartment (granted, to prepare a dinner, but still), and dangles her keys in front of her.  He should get a hard slap in the face, but instead, he gets a roll in the hay.  Not a good message.

The film has a lot of honest tension, in particular when Ripley is on the move. Some scenes feel been contrived as if to increase the drama; these scenes are integral to the plot, but their presentation is clumsy.

The strongest part of the movie is, no surprise, Morgan Freeman's portrayal of Ripley.  This character is so cool, he gives you the shivers. You can't help watching and wondering what he'll do next. The thief is the ultimate in smoothness, and Freeman carries it out to perfection without ever crossing the line that would make it a parody.

I never did figure out what code the title is referring to.

THE CODE received a lot of bad reviews, which is fair; it's a lightweight film. Still, it does have several thrilling scenes that can get your pulse up to a run.  I give it ++++.

Review of GOD BLESS AMERICA

GOD BLESS AMERICA

Frank Murdoch is an unhappy man. He's divorced, lives alone, has migraines, and loud neighbors living below him who keep him from getting enough sleep. But worst of all is the cruelty and crudity shown on TV--one woman throwing a used tampon at another, people laughing at a retarded singer, and the like. To make matters worse, his daughter doesn't want to see him, and he loses his job because he sent flowers to a co-worker (at her home) to cheer her up. As a final straw, a doctor (who cares more about his new car than his patients) tells him he has brain cancer.

The only solution he can think of is suicide.  But, at the last minute, he sees a television program about CHLOE, the teenager from hell who curses her parents for buying her a Lexus instead of a Cadillac. This upsets him so much, he puts down the gun, seeks her out at her school, and shoots her in her car. That evening, back in his room, he puts the gun back in his mouth, but is interrupted by ROXANNE HARMON, one of Chloe's classmates. Roxy says the killing of Chloe was awesome, and persuades Frank to kill other worthy candidates instead of himself.

Frank agrees. The two of them kill Chloe's parents since they were responsible for Chloe, then people who talk too much in a movie theater, Tea Party nutcakes and many more. They do target practice, sightsee, and share a hotel room (one bed, but pillows separate them--Frank is not a pedophile.) Then Frank makes a disturbing discovery about Roxy…

This film is delightfully unpredictable. Bobcat Goldthwait, the writer and director, consistently delivers unexpected twists in the action. There's lots of blood and violence, but it all has a surreal quality that makes it comical, albeit in a dark way. While exciting and funny, the movie makes you think, and not happy thoughts. I plan to check out more of Goldthwait's films.

Cinematically, this movie is worth seeing. As a workout film, this will frequently get your pulse up to at least a run.  I give it ++++.

Review of INGLORIOUS BASTERDS

INGLORIOUS BASTERDS

This alternate history account of WWII starts in 1941 with a French farmer PERRIER LAPADITE watching with trepidation an approaching vehicle. His concern is justified. The visitor is HANS LANDA, a Nazi who equates murdering Jews with killing rats.  Landa orders Lapadite to reveal the location of a Jewish family, the Dreyfus's.  Lapadite at first says the family escaped the country, but when Landa threatens to take his daughters to be sex slaves for the Nazis, Lapadite gives up and points to the floor. The Jews are hiding in the crawlspace. Landa's soldiers pepper the floor with bullets, killing everyone in the Dreyfus family except for one daughter, Shoshanna, who manages to run away. Landa watches her leave and laughs.

Switch to 1944, when American Lieutenant ALDO RAINE (Brad Pitt) recruits eight Jewish soldiers, the Inglorious Basterds, for a mission behind enemy lines.  They ambush a German squad, and, when the squad's sergeant refuses to give them information, one of Raine's men, DONNY DONOWITZ, a big guy nicknamed 'the bear Jew,' beats the sergeant to death with a baseball bat. Only one of the Germans survives the ambush. Raine carves a swastika into his forehead both to scar him forever and also to warn Hitler that Raine's men mean business.

Shoshanna, using a pseudonym, now runs a movie theater in Paris. She learns that Goebbels, Hitler and other high level Nazis will be attending her cinema to see a propaganda film, and, with her lover, concocts a plan.  At the same time, the Basterds also plan at attack on the cinema...

No spoilers.

The plot is a lot more complicated than the details above, but it's all laid out in a clear fashion that's easy to follow. Seeing Jews beat the crap out of Nazis is a lot of fun, and the ending, though just alternate history, is exquisitely satisfying.

One plot flaw is that Raine, the leader of the Jewish band, himself is apparently not Jewish. Actor Brad Pitt certainly doesn't make a convincing Jew (he's not Jewish in real life). But this is not major.

All in all, this is a riveting and exciting movie that will often get your pulse up to a sprint.  I give it +++++.

Review of THE MUSIC MAN

THE MUSIC MAN - 1962

The Music Man is a, satirical romantic musical comedy, and it works on all of these genres.

PROFESSOR HAROLD HILL (Robert Preston) has a nice little con going.  He sells band instruments and uniforms to children in small towns and promises the parents that by continually humming music, for example, Beethoven's Minuet in G, the kids will learn to play. After the equipment arrives and before the first band rehearsal, he collects the rest of the money and skips town, leaving the parents to the sad discovery that band equipment does not automatically create a band. 

RIVER CITY, IOWA, he hears, is an especially hard sell, so there he goes. First step--manufacture a need.  A new pool hall gives him the opportunity.  He climbs on a soapbox and rouses the townspeople with a brisk, rhythmic patter:

 

      You've got trouble, my friends, right here in River City,
      With a capitol T and that rhymes with P and that stands for pool...

 Soon the whole town is worried about how:

       …libertine men and scarlet women, and ragtime, shameless music,

      will grab your son, your daughter in the arms of the jungle animal instinct,

      masssteria, friends, the idle brain is the devil's playground.

 Lucky for the town, Harold has a solution to the problem.

      A band will do it, my friends, oh yes, I said a boys' band, do you hear me? 
      River City's gotta have a boys' band and I mean she needs it today.
      Well, Professor Harold Hill's on hand, River City's gonna have a boys' band,
      as sure as the Lord made little green apples, and that band's gonna be in uniform...

But Harold runs into a problem. He is attracted to the MARIAN THE LIBRARIAN, who advocates "dirty books, Chaucer, Rabelais, BALLzac."  After an incredibly gross attempt to woo her, he falls in love with her, and when the time comes for him to leave, he's reluctant.  Meanwhile, the townspeople are preparing the tar and feathers…

This movie can be summed up in two words--Robert Preston. His boundless energy and personality as he dashes about and distracts everyone from realizing that his promises are empty fluff are the best part of the film.  In addition, the music is wonderful, the dancing is energetic, the characters memorable, and the plot absurdly funny.

 The movie was 'updated' in 2003 to reflect modern 'sensibilities.'   I suspect someone thought Harold Hill's rants were serious--a mistake. The original movie is a parody, and whatever sensibilities the revision is supposed to correct can not make up for the lack of Robert Preston.

If you saw this film decades ago, you'll can enjoy it again.  If you never saw it, you have a treat in store for you. It's a superb movie. As a workout movie, it does have slow spots, but will still get your pulse up to a jog.  I give it +++.

Review of ACT OF VALOR

ACT OF VALOR

The film opens with a quote about a frustration of getting old-- people no longer consider you dangerous. A little later, a man careens an ice-cream truck through streets filled with bicycles and pulls into the grounds of a school in the Philippine Islands. Children crowd around and the man amuses them with mock ferocity. One little boy persuades his father to buy him ice cream. The father, who has an American flag pin on his lapel and is presumably the US Ambassador, agrees. While a young woman gives out the ice cream, the driver walks quickly away, and the truck explodes, killing the woman, the ambassador and a number of children.

The driver is a Chechen jihadist, ABU SHABAL, who works with a multi-lingual mercenary, CHRISTO.  LISA MORALES, a CIA operative is meeting with her partner, WALTER ROSS, to share information they've gathered about Christo when Christo's terrorists break in, kill Ross, and kidnap Lisa. They take her to a jungle hideout and slap her around to get her to talk. Then one of the terrorists drills a hole through her hand, apparently for the hell of it.

Nice guys.

Enter SEAL TEAMS.  We meet each of them individually: ROURKE is an expectant father, DAVE has several children and his wife always changes the diapers.  Similar snippets are offered of the others.  They airlift to the jungle hideout, kill a lot of terrorists and rescue poor Lisa, though they have a harrowing escape (involving a gunboat airlifted by a helicopter) and one of them is wounded. Hurray! Mission successful.

Next, Christo and Shabal plan to infiltrate two teams of suicidal murderers with especially lethal vests into American cities for a strike that will make the September 9 attack look like 'a walk in the park'.  The Seals take out one of the teams with relative ease, but the second...

You get the idea.  It's just one damned mission after another until the world is saved, or at least a major terrorist attack is averted.  The Seals are crack shots who almost always get their man, while the terrorists usually couldn't hit a barn door.  The Seals are all warm, friendly guys with comradery and courage, while the terrorists are all psychopaths. Granted, Christo funds charities, but it's just a front.  He's still slime. In shows like Breaking Bad and Boardwalk Empire, the villains are human with good as well as bad qualities. The good may not balance the bad, but it makes for a more enjoyable story.  This movie is just plain preachy.

Also, by painting the enemies as such demons, it justifies and glorifies war.

This film and a lot of bad reviews and made a lot of money at the box office, probably because of the combat scenes.  And those are, indeed riveting.  You know damn well the Seals will escape their pursuers, but you still tense up and root for them to succeed.

As a cinematic production, this movie is a POS (piece of shit). As a workout film, I give it ++++.  After a slow beginning, it will often get your pulse up to a run.