Review of THE EIGER SANCTION

THE EIGER SANCTION

DR. HEMLOCK (pre-senile Clint Eastwood) teaches art and freely tells his students that most of them are too dense to appreciate it.  One pretty coed says she'd do anything for a good grade.  He asks if she has plans for the night, and if she'll be alone.  She is delighted to say yes. He then tells her to go home and study her ass off for the finals.

Unfortunately, this is the best line in the movie.

Hemlock has an extensive collection of art originals.  How, you might ask, on a professor's salary? It turns out Hemlock is also a retired governmental assassin, a profession that pays well. His former boss, DRAGON, an ex-Nazi albino who needs transfusions to survive, wants him for two more 'terminations', and, with judicious use of enticements, bribes and threats, manages to persuade him.

The main enticement is that one of the hits will be on the Eiger Mountain.  Hemlock has already tried and failed to climb it twice, and the excuse for a third attempt is more than he can resist. An old friend, BEN, trains him and gets him back into mountain climbing shape. After a couple of seductions, a few fights, a murder and other incidents, the movie is half over and Hemlock is finally ready to start ascending the slopes. He has three companions, one of whom is his putative target, but he doesn't know which.

Will he identify his target? Will his target identify him first? Will he hook up with one of the pretty women he's slept with? Will he die on the mountain? Will anyone die on the mountain?  It's not hard to guess the answers, so there isn't much overall suspense, though there is an interesting plot twist near the end.

The movie has some beautiful mountain photography, and director Eastwood has chosen interesting shots of commonplace scenes like stairwells. He deserves credit for that. Unfortunately, the film displays racism, sexism and homophobia to an extent one can't excuse by saying the attitudes were typical for that era (1975).

Though Hemlock is a man of many talents, his personality and the personality of the others is pretty flat.

In spite of the predictability, there is a lot of action, and, even though you can guess what will probably happen, the pace still pulls you in. As a cinematic production, it's strictly second rate, but as a workout movie, it deserves ++++ - it will usually get your pulse up to a run.

Review of "WHERE EAGLES DARE"

WHERE EAGLES DARE: 

Richard Burton and not-yet-senile Clint Eastwood infiltrate a mountaintop Nazi fortress, get valuable information about traitorous spies, and return to England.

Oh, and they kill Nazis. They're quite good at it (at one point Clint dispatches a radio operator with such nonchalance, he seems like a psychopath.) The Nazis shoot at the two heroes, throw bombs, kick them and punch them--all with little or no effect. Between the two of them, Clint and Richard jump into freezing water, go through a car crash, jump from one cable car hundreds of feet in the air to another, and with all that happens, literally the most severe injury they suffer is that Richard scrapes his hand while closing a door. On the other hand, their bullets bring down Nazis with amazing accuracy. Yeah, the unrealism is funny, but they're killing Nazis, so it's exciting.

The plot is complex. It took a couple of viewings to understand all that goes on, but it's worth figuring out. Plausible - no. But lots of fun.

There are a couple of plot flaws (as when they waste time climbing under a bridge to place dynamite instead of putting in inconspicuously on the side), but those are minor.

The music is stirring and memorable, though not too sophisticated.

Confession: I watched this while sitting in front of the TV, not while working out. But it revved me up so much, I've seen about six times. The phrase 'oldie but goodie certainly fits. It's a great adrenalin stimulator. Without a doubt, it deserves +++++. It will raise your pulse as much as a sprint. If you see it, let me know what you think.