Star Wars, Episodes 1-3

STAR WARS - episodes 1-3

Cute little Anakin Skywalker grows up, becomes a Jedi under the tutelage of Obi Wan, falls in love with, marries and impregnates Senator Amidala, is seduced to follow the Dark Side by the chancellor, kills a lot of other Jedi including Jedi children, becomes Darth Vader and helps establish the empire.

When you put it that way, it doesn’t sound that interesting.

I have a lot of problems with these episodes.  Perhaps the worst is the negative stereotyping. Between the crooked traders, the inane Jar Jar, and the hook nosed, aerodynamically impossible slaver Watta, Lucas has managed to insult Japanese people, Caribbean Islanders, and Jews.

The plot flaws are numerous. Some, like emphysematous robots and submarines going through the planet's core, are small and annoying. But there is one major flaw that is central to the plot and renders ludicrous the portrayal of Jedi as wise philosopher-warriors--that is the failure of the Jedi to try to rescue Anakin's mother in episode one. How can Anakin not grow up a little screwy with the worry about his mother haunting him. And it would have been so easy to fix--just have the slaver refuse to sell her, and have her escape to the other man, Lars, later.

The characterizations don't work for me. In contrast to the wise and ultra-cool Jedi played by Alex Guinness, Ewan McGregor's Obi Wan is here a dick--arrogant and condescending (Liam Neeson as Qui-Gon Jinn isn't any better.) Anakin in episodes two and three is a typical bratty teenager with no trace of the wisdom and understand one would expect from a young Jedi. And Amadala is ridiculous the way she suddenly falls in love with bratty Anakin.

The first time I saw episode two, it confused me because I was used to seeing the clones as the evil stormtroopers in the second three episodes. However, if you start watching the series from episode one (instead of episode four as we alta kockers did), it makes sense.

I wonder how many people have watched the six episodes in order, and what they thought of the second set.

In spite of all my criticisms, watching it once more sucks me in. No matter how often I've seen those centipede like creatures crawl on Amadala's bed to poison her, I still tense up lest Obi Wan and Anakin not get there in time to rescue her. I'm watching it again for the fourth time, and the minutes speed by as I pedal.

From an artistic standpoint, it's not that great. As a workout movie, it's mixed.  I give it ++++ - it will frequently get your pulse up to a run. (And I'm eager to see episodes 7, 8, and 9 to come out.)

Review of Family Guy parody of Star Wars

STAR WARS Family guy parody.  

People who enjoy both Star Wars and Family Guy will without question enjoy the Star Wars parodies: 'Laugh it Up, Fuzzball', 'Something Something Something Dark, and 'It's A Trap." The plot is the same, but the characters and dialogue--well, best you see it yourself.  Peter is Han, Chris is Luke, Lois is princess Leia, and Brian (of course) is Chewbaca. Stewie is Darth Vader, and some of his lines are absolutely hilarious. The pedophile, Herbert, is Obi Wan, which is sort of a shame--the Jedi lusting after young Skywalker--but he carries it off well.  Poor Meg with her baseball cap is the snake in the trash compactor, the giant worm in the asteroid, and the carnivorous plant in the desert.  I'm not sure why I should feel sorry for a cartoon character, but I do.

The jokes are what you'd expect from Family Guy. Storm troopers sing, dance and get married.  Out in the desert, while hearing the Star War's theme, Chris announces John Williams and the orchestra, and the camera pans to show them. Peter, as Han, moons everyone when he's frozen in carbonite.  The best was when Peter sees a sofa in the trash compactor, and insists on taking it into the Millennium Falcon even though it doesn't fit. The website gives more examples.


The music is the same Star Wars music, and is as thrilling as always. The graphics show a surprising similarity to the actual scenes in the movie, and it's no surprise that the producers created this parody with George Lucas' blessing.

If you want to laugh with your workup, this is a good one to watch.  I give it ++++ - it will get your pulse up to a run. If you see it, let me know what you think.

Review of 'STAR WARS"

STAR WARS - Episodes 4-6.

Farm-boy Luke Skywalker becomes a Jedi and, with help from his friend, Han Solo, defeats the evil emperor and rehabilitates his father.

George Lucas has added so many phrases to our language.  "These aren’t the droids you're looking for."  "Help me Obi Wan Kenobi. You're my only hope." And, of course, "Luke, I am you're father," (which in reality is a misquote, but let's not be picky."

There are a lot of flaws in the story. Some are small, like Han Solo using the word 'parsec' as a unit of time rather than distance, or the word 'droid,' short for 'android' to indicate non-humanoid robots. Giving these robots short designations like R2D2 or C3PO is ridiculous because you'd end up with tons of similar robots using the same 'name.' 

The worst is Obi Wan in episode four saying Darth Vader killed Luke's father, and then having to backtrack in episode six.  Alec Guiness pulls it off with perfect aplomb, but it remains obvious that Lucas thought up this plot twist after Episode four--A New Hope" - had been released.

Sigh - I still think of episode 4 as being the first one since it came out first. I'm showing my age.  And to me, this will always be the best of the series. It is a story of pure goodness and innocence against pure evil. Yes, such two dimensional characterization is unrealistic, but it can also be very entertaining. In episode we see that Darth Vader takes orders and also has a vulnerable looking skull.  He just isn't as scary.  Then Luke loses his hand and finds out…

The music is stirring and memorable, though it might be so easy to remember because I've heard it so many times.

How many times have we all seen this?  It doesn't matter.  For a workout, it still excites.  I give it +++++ - it will get your pulse up to a sprint. Let me know what you think.